Barbaro: "Shoot me now!"

WASHINGTON (nonReuters): Barbaro, the star horse whose leg seemingly exploded early at the Preakness, the 2nd leg of the triple crown he was assured to win, told his veterinary staff to put him down today. "Just shoot me," he pleaded. "Enough with the rods, screws, casts, water, the crane lifting me in and out of the water, all that crap! I have frigging laminitis, whatever that is, and I'm not gonna even be able to rear up and give it to those mares you had expectantly waiting to sire my future foals!!" Vets mused that Barbaro's chances of survival were slim at best, and the near-stud horse snickered "Great...and until then I get to suffer through all this surgery and crap, though I have to say that the meds are pretty good. No wonder Rush Limbaugh was all messed up on Oxycontin." Barbaro suggested to those gathered that a quick, painless death would be much better than limping around for the next 5 months without being able to go to stud, let alone race.