Monday, November 13, 2006
Church Says It Could Do Without Elton John, Too
LONDON: After Elton John made comments today stating that the world would be better off without religion and that religious groups have essentially done nothing to enhace relationships with gays and other groups, The Vatican officially noted that it didn't really need Elton John, either. "Besides, what's he done after 'Benny and the Jets' that was that good, anyway?" asked Archbishop Luigi Rotelli. "His best days are past and other than a concert here and there, who really cares what he has to say, the poofdah," continued Rotelli, using a colloquial UK slang expression for "gay person". The church also stated that Mr. John could pretty much forget about absolution - "He'd pretty much used up his chits in that department, anyway", said Vatican officials - and consigned him to eternal damnation for good measure.
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Let's not forget, though, about his work promoting the use of pinball machines by third world lepers as a means to promote self-esteem and raise money for church coffers, though this too could be overshadowed by what Elton allowed, and indeeed likely actively supported, in terms of what Uncle Ernie did to Tommy.
ReplyDeletelet's also not forget EJ's enormous contribution to funny eyeglasses to such point that "four eyes" is now, in gay clubs, a complimentary term.
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