HOHOHOKUS, NJ: The FDA today warned of possible e. coli contamination of bagged spinach after one death and numerous outbreaks of intestinal discomfort across eight to nine states. Apparently, simply washing the spinach won't help since the e. coli bacteria "...cling to those leaves like flies on shit -- or in this case, bacteria in shit on spinach", said one official. The FDA believes that growers in California, from which bagged spinach is shipped, must have incorrectly managed the manure fertilization and leaf picking/cleaning processes, leading to the contamination. While the FDA believes the use of manure with produce that is typically consumed raw is "bad", to quote an official, growers may have grown lax in terms of their fertilization technique.
In a related story, Birdseye Frozen Foods has updated its "Fresh Thoughts about Frozen" web page with a note about "Why eating frozen spinach won't kill you like eating that (literally) bagged shit does". General Mills was also rumored to be launching a new ad campaign featuring the Green Giant's take on avoiding e. coli.
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